i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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