when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
