I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
