So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
