but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
