I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
