Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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