omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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