Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
did you just send me my own nude
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
