Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
