Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
