I think I won the penis lottery.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
