I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You were trust falling into bushes
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
