Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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