areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
