It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
