So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
