how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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