Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
