She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
