Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
