every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
