marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
