it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
