Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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