so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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