if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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