So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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