my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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