I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
