found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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