Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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