Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
