My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
