I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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