Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
