is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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