and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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