y did u give ur computer a hand job?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Randomize
