Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
