i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
