hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
