Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
