Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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