Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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