their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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