Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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