There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
