I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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