Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
