So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
