Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
