pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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