go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i think i have herpe
just one?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
did you just send me my own nude
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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