i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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