CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
