I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
40s are totally the cure
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
